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We have a unique dilemma as humans to hold onto almost anything for almost any reason despite whether or not it is healthy for us. We're very solid on what we believe belongs to us but very rarely do we know when it is time to let go.
However, the experience, the past, the person, the place, or the thing are never what we find ourselves attached to contrary to what we believe. It is the emotion we struggle to let go of and I cannot stress enough how unnatural it is to suppress emotions (trapping them in the body) even though it is a very normal response to difficult, heavy, and/or uncomfortable emotions. Knowing when it is time to let go requires openness and honesty with self. It also requires that we release judgment of ourselves.
It is natural to allow emotions to flow through us and when this happens we expand in self-love and deepen the knowing of who we are. Emotions give us the opportunity to expand every time we experience them and process them by keeping it R.E.A.L. But when we suppress our emotions the impact can be life-altering. Suppressed emotions can shift our mood and if left unaddressed, our temperament can take on the tone of the emotions and if left unaddressed still, our personality can take on the identity of the emotions. Now instead of your emotions existing through you, you are existing through your emotions. This is what it looks like to lose ourselves. Noticing these types of changes from your mood to your personality are signs that it is time to let go.
What void is it filling? Are you sacrificing any part of yourself to hold on? Is this part of your identity in some way? Is holding on serving you and if so, in what way? Exploring the attachment is one of the bravest things you can do to get closer to knowing when it is time to let go. Fear is an extension of ourselves and because of this, it can be impressively creative in convincing us why we should never let go. Sometimes we believe that we must hold on to these emotions because they will protect us from any future threat or danger. Or we suppress them to be reminded that we should avoid at all costs anything that could retrigger/stimulate them. In some cases, it boils down to the fear of the unknown. Identifying fear-based attachments is a sign that it is time to let go.
When we don't believe we deserve better, we simply don't strive for better.
An attachment is nothing without a belief that reinforces it. Digging deeper to understand the belief that holding on is necessary even though it is unnatural and could lead to mental and/or physical health problems, could reveal our sense of self-worth. Self-limiting beliefs fuel self-limiting behaviors and self-limiting behaviors diminish our sense of worthiness. When we don't believe we deserve better, we simply don't strive for better. Negative self-talk, people-pleasing, toxic and abusive relationships are signs of insecurity and low self-esteem. Sadness, guilt, hopelessness, shame, disappointment, loneliness, dismay, and regret are all emotions that can reinforce unhealthy beliefs, behaviors, and ultimately attachments if left unprocessed/suppressed. Feeling unworthy is sometimes difficult to address but when we are honest with ourselves this realization lets us know it is time to let go.
Knowing when it is time to let go is a journey so we must be patient with ourselves.
Getting to this point is a huge accomplishment and is half the battle. Letting go is a natural and essential occurrence in life that opens the door to peace, forgiveness, ease, and the expansion of love. As a member of SenterME, you have exclusive access to content like this and guides such as our Letting Go With Ease guide to support your self-love practice. If you'd like to 1:1 support for knowing when it's time to let go, schedule your How Are You Feelin' Sis? Session today. Comment below your thoughts on this post and/or any questions you have.
Remember, wellness is your birthright and self-love is true freedom.