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Despite experiencing some success after my first year of entrepreneurship—being able to pay bills and support my family—the transition from corporate America to running a business did little to alleviate the perpetual state of survival mode. I found myself caught in cycles of burnout, grappling with crippling anxiety, and battling long-standing depression that had been lingering for years as a slave to my never-ending To-Do List.
It was from these struggles that SenterME emerged, fueled by a deep understanding of emotional wellness and the need for a better work-life balance. After transforming my own life, I felt a calling to guide other women facing similar challenges. At SenterME, we started with a single mission, to help women grow a deeper sense of themselves while centering themselves. In other words, we want to see women living emotionally well lives. We akin emotional wellness with self-love and have developed six curricula to support the expression, expansion, and evolution of women professionals in their personal and professional lives.
From processing your emotions and learning to articulate with love and knowing (Talk that T.A.L.K.) to setting boundaries and self-preservation (stress management), we are dedicated to educating and helping women professionals advance in self-regulation and free themselves so that they may experience how their authenticity, leaning into their emotions, and prioritizing themselves leads to limitless growth, greater daily fulfillment, and true work-life harmony.
Over the past year and 10 months, I have had the luxury of speaking with hundreds of women from all walks of life and there remains a consistent theme of why emotional wellness, even though understood in high regard, doesn't become a priority until crisis arises, 'there are so many other things I can be doing.' In my quest to build a company based on a solution for women who are experts in showing up for everyone but often struggle to create space for themselves, I find myself up against more than what I expected.
The problem that I am solving is highly unrecognized as a problem. So how do I solve a problem that has been hidden in plain sight for so long that it's lost its color, the red flags blend in with the checked-off To-Do List tasks, unhealthy habits are necessary to reach unrealistic goals, and isolation is the preference?
Dig deeper.
Why is the problem low-key & not high-key?
In my research, while building the Self-Preservation curriculum, I went on a tangent to find out why there exist good AND bad bacteria in the gut. The question that led me down this path was, 'What makes bacteria bad, and is it necessary for our gut if it's bad?' It turns out that bad bacteria has a backstory and I am always game for a villain backstory. It was once good bacteria but the environment being unhealthy and unconducive for healthy bacteria to thrive shifts its makeup completely. So you see, bad bacteria is a product of its environment.
This brings me deeper into my analysis of the underdog of a problem that doesn't get the glory it truly deserves, a proper backstory. Women living in a patriarchal society are inherently in survivor mode. Societal expectations and cultural norms may impose a sense of guilt or selfishness when women allocate time and energy to their well-being. Balancing these expectations with personal needs becomes a delicate negotiation. It is as if when women declared, 'We can do what men do!', men decided (after many many years of unwavering resistance of course) that we had to do it exactly how they do it too.
Now of course, all men didn't collectively make this decision but because of this unspoken expectation, stress is dangerously high among women professionals. The lack of necessary sufficient support systems for women in the professional realm to thrive, such as comprehensive maternity and family support, mentorship and sponsorship programs, health and wellness programs, anti-discrimination policies, and equal investment and promotion opportunities have a compounding effect on women's mental and physical health. These inadequacies also result in:
Workforce Attrition and Talent Drain: Organizations may experience higher turnover rates as professionals seek or build environments that prioritize employee well-being, leading to a drain of valuable talent.
Decreased Innovation and Creativity: A workforce overwhelmed by stress may struggle to foster innovation and creativity, hindering the development of new ideas and solutions within industries.
Gender Disparities: The persistence of this problem may perpetuate gender disparities in the workplace such as passive aggression, discrimination, unequal pay, and even harassment, as women face additional challenges in achieving work-life balance and professional success.
Reduced Organizational Effectiveness: Organizations that do not address the well-being of their workforce may experience reduced overall effectiveness, impacting collaboration, morale, and the ability to meet strategic goals.
Social and Economic Impact: On a broader scale, the consequences may extend to societal and economic levels, as a less emotionally resilient workforce may contribute to increased healthcare costs, decreased productivity, and a less vibrant economy.
Not only would emphasis and intention in the development and enhancement of such support systems level the playing field but would also act as a catalyst for the advancement of the whole of our society.
Yet, here we are, in a society that attempts to force women to choose between two evils, burnout in the pursuit of equality or conformity to limiting gender roles and biases, hindering our quest for a harmonious and fulfilling life.
What are the personal behaviors that contribute to this problem?
As I mentioned previously, women are inherently in survivor mode in our society and even more so in the business landscape. Well, survivor mode is not a space from which one would thrive, in fact, we miss this opportunity altogether. Because this underrepresented problem, that women struggle to prioritize their emotional wellness, is not received by the whole of our society, women adopt behaviors out of survivor mode that contribute to the continuation of the problem including but not limited to:
Overcommitment: Habitually overcommitting to tasks and responsibilities can result in an overloaded schedule, leaving minimal time for relaxation or well-being practices. The tendency to say "yes" to everything can perpetuate the cycle of busyness.
Neglecting Boundaries: Failing to establish clear boundaries between work and personal life can result in a continuous state of being available. This lack of separation prevents dedicated time for self-care and contributes to burnout and depressive episodes.
Neglecting Warning Signs: Ignoring early signs of stress, burnout, or emotional exhaustion instead of addressing them proactively can lead to a downward spiral. Dismissing these warning signs perpetuates the belief that emotional wellness is secondary.
Reluctance to Seek Help: Hesitating to seek support from partners, colleagues, friends, or mental health professionals can contribute to feelings of isolation. The belief that one should handle everything independently can hinder the establishment of a strong and elaborate support system comprised of healthy interdependent relationships, strategic partnerships, and necessary allies.
While there are many more habits and behaviors that are born from the enervating experience of survivor mode, the consequences that so many women have endured and the impact of this struggle to prioritize our emotional wellness range from burnout and reduced productivity, decaying physical health, strained personal relationships, limitations in career advancement, and increased mental health challenges.
How do we get to the solution?
Professional women, despite acknowledging the profound benefits of emotional wellness and stress management, grapple with a pervasive challenge. The pressing issue resides in their persistent struggle to prioritize personal well-being amid the intricate web of responsibilities in their professional, domestic, and community spheres. This dilemma manifests as a paradox where awareness of the value coexists with a formidable barrier—be it time constraints, feelings of guilt, or the inability to establish and maintain crucial boundaries.
The overarching problem is the apparent disconnect between recognizing the importance of emotional well-being and the ability to carve out the necessary time and space for it. This gap demands a comprehensive solution that not only highlights the significance of emotional well-being for professional women but also addresses the intricate factors hindering them from seamlessly integrating these practices into their lives.
The solution to a problem that we have learned to live with for over 180 years requires much more than a tool, policy, or program alone. It requires acceptance. Acceptance of where we are, how we got here, and space to accept who we have become ourselves. A mindset shift, a holistic approach of harnessing the power of community and technology, inspiring education that motivates the implementation of change, and the enthusiasm born from a vision of a free and fulfillment-rich future are also ingredients to the solution for dynamic women struggling to prioritize their emotional wellness.
SenterME strives for this solution providing weekly virtual events that allow women to create space for themselves to invest in their emotional wellness. We also partner with local small businesses and entrepreneur support organizations to facilitate our Her D.R.E.A.M. Life Immersive workshops that bring joy and excitement to learning how to cultivate a life that is well, balanced, and fulfilling.
Our weekly newsletter, SenterME Sunday, and new blog articles aim to provide women with a sense of community and empowerment. Beginning today, replays of our virtual sessions are available in our Self-Love Bar along with guides that help women grow in self-awareness and usher them into transformative authenticity.
We believe that with consistency, gratification of the benefits, and inspiring support, women professionals will no longer perceive emotional wellness as a nice-to-have, but they will embrace it as a must-have.
We are currently working towards building a platform that encompasses these attributes of the solution and are over-the-moon excited about moving toward a future where emotional wellness and stress management support is easily accessible and eagerly received by women professionals everywhere. #Journey2SenterME
By choosing wellness and embracing ourselves, we in turn become apart of the driving force that changes the world to a more inclusive and vibrant place. It is true that we can only love each other as much as we love ourselves.
When was the last time you created space for your emotional wellness? Did you resonate with any parts of this article in particular? Share your experience below in the comments and subscribe to SenterME to join our community of trailblazing women professionals on their journey of emotional wellness and stress relief.
Remember, wellness is your birthright and self-love is true freedom.