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Congratulations! You are on your journey of emotional wellness and as a woman professional this is so essential for the quality of your expression and the quality of your life. We are honored to be right here on this journey with you.
Self-reflection is a massive step in emotional wellness. When we practice self-reflection we uncover opportunities to celebrate ourselves, give ourselves grace, satisfy unmet needs, and encourage internal and external environmental harmony. It is also the first step we take in identifying problems whether it be the discomfort we feel at home or in the office, unexplained irritability, the fear of self-advocacy, or anything that stems from not addressing (suppressed) stimulated difficult emotions.
In this post, we aim to introduce preliminary tips for identifying the problem when dealing with suppressed emotions. We are going to break down this process into baby steps that you can use to grow in self-awareness, trust in yourself, and gain clarity to support a healthy response to yourself and the world around you.
Why Should You Identify The Problem?
As a woman in the professional arena, trusting yourself from a space of emotional well-being enhances your decision-making abilities by expanding your perspective thus allowing you to make holistic decisions that are aligned with your highest good and that of your home, organization, and community. When we are using self-reflection best practices, the trust that we have in ourselves is backed by data collected during the reflection process. We grow more familiar with the thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and physical symptoms/sensations that are associated with any given emotion that we experience. This invaluable insight is vital when a problem arises helping to cultivate informed and holistic decisions.
On my way home last night, I used the hour that I had left until we arrived home to reflect and I was brought back to a space in my journey 10 years ago when I would drink a bottle of red wine almost every night. I was unaware at that time that drinking wasn't actually helping the anxiety but fueling the depression (terms I only learned to use years later). I didn't know how to self-reflect let alone identify that self-isolation and hyper-independence were only the tip of the iceberg of the problem I had been avoiding most of my life. I wasn't mentally, emotionally, or physically well.
Irregular menstrual cycles were the norm, unexplained crying episodes were swept under the 'I'm ok' rug, and suicidal thoughts served as reminders that things had somehow gotten worse.
Learning to intentionally self-reflect and identifying the problem saved my life.
Is There A Problem?
The first tip in identifying the problem is being honest with ourselves about whether or not the problem exists. We can't possibly know where we're going if we don't know where we are. It can be so easy to suppress our emotions and convince ourselves not to acknowledge that feelings such as hurt, shame, anger, scared, insecurity, disappointment, confusion, or helplessness are stimulated. However, being honest with ourselves opens the door for powerful reflection that not only strengthens your sense of security but deepens the trust you have in yourself to honor and regulate your emotions.
Being honest with ourselves isn't always a devastating blow to your reality, but having tough conversations with yourself is a method of advanced self-reflection that allows for clarity, grace, and effective self-regulation. Asking Purpose Questions is gold here because they keep us present, focused on getting to the root problem, and in a position of power. These are questions that uncover truths, threatened beliefs, and unmet needs. Some examples of Purpose Questions are:
What emotions am I experiencing?
Is the emotion in control or am I?
Am I fearful of the experience of this emotion and if so, why?
What expectations are influencing my response to myself and the world around me?
Is this a universal law or belief?
What led me to this emotion(s)?
Am I being hard on myself and if so, why?
What behaviors of my own led me the this space?
Why am I resisting acknowledging the problem? Is it worth my emotional wellbeing?
Cultivating trust in yourself also takes time, sometimes including journaling, coaching/therapy sessions, meditation, and other forms of reflective expression to support it. Often due to perceived time scarcity, as a woman professional navigating a demanding lifestyle, we can find ourselves compartmentalizing to save time to keep showing up for everything and everyone else.
But being honest with yourself combats unhealthy compartmentalization and as we grow to meet our difficult, uncomfortable, and heavy emotions with space and acknowledgment, we expand in the acceptance of the complexities of this radical state of wholeness. Not to mention it requires so much energy to suppress and resist our true emotions that when you finally acknowledge that a problem exists you instantly feel relief. Honesty here is truly the best policy.
The Problem & The Body
The next tip in identifying the problem is connecting with it. When we are struggling with our emotional wellness sometimes we not only compartmentalize by suppressing the emotions but we also create a disconnect between the mind and the rest of the body. When the mind is set on pretending no problem exists, the rest of the body, unable to escape what is present or what is real, is left to manage the stress that comes with suppressed emotions. This can result in physical symptoms that can go unnoticed when navigating a busy schedule such as:
aches and pains in the neck, shoulders, and joints
tension in the muscles
headaches
difficulty maintaining focus
cold & flu-like symptoms
irregular menstrual cycles
increased/decreased appetite
general discomfort
mood swings
poor quality sleep
fatigue
elevated heart rate
Connecting with the problem allows us to also grow familiar with what physical symptoms/sensations accompany it. For example, when you are angry about something but rather than choose to create space to acknowledge the anger and the stimulant, suppressing it could cause poor quality sleep which can result in fatigue during the day, unexplained irritability, and the inability to focus.
Being intentional about reflecting in this way helps us to identify the problem by assessing the data our body sends us which also reveals the severity of the problem as well. This practice closes the disconnect between the mind and the rest of the body enabling the mind to serve you better. Here are some ways you can connect with your body to get a better understanding of the physical symptoms of the underlying problem that exists:
Mindful Body Scans: Set aside time each day to do a body scan, where you systematically focus on each part of your body, noticing any tension, discomfort, or sensations you may be experiencing.
Regular Exercise: Engage in physical activities like yoga, tai chi, or walking, which promote body awareness and can help release tension stored in the body.
Breath Awareness: Practice deep breathing exercises to tune into your body's natural rhythms and notice any changes in your breath patterns during times of stress or emotional discomfort.
Journaling: Keep a journal where you record any physical symptoms you experience throughout the day, along with the corresponding emotions or situations that may have triggered them.
Meditation: Dedicate time to meditation practices that focus on bodily sensations, such as body scan meditations or mindful movement exercises like qigong or gentle stretching.
Therapeutic Bodywork: Consider seeking out therapeutic bodywork modalities like massage therapy, acupuncture, or chiropractic care, which can help release physical tension and facilitate emotional release.
Mindful Eating: Pay attention to how your body responds to food by practicing mindful eating and noticing any physical sensations or changes in appetite that may be linked to emotional states.
It's Ok That There Is A Problem
The last tip for self-reflection is to be ok with not being ok. This is going to improve your internal agility, the way you respond to stress, and resilience. Often as women professionals, we feel pressure to not acknowledge when something is bothering us and it is the absolute WORST when people blame our emotions on our gender (like, everyone has emotions).
But creating space for self-reflection is necessary and paves the way for not only a richer quality life of daily fulfillment for ourselves but for the entire generation of women coming through the door behind us. As a mother of a daughter, it is important to me that she and my son both get to see how complex the experience of allowing your whole self to be present in navigating emotions is and that sometimes I am not ok and that is ok.
Self-reflection helps us to arrive at authentic expression, complete acceptance, and liberating letting go with a clear and open start. We can only really appreciate our pleasurable, light, and high-vibrational emotions by embracing the difficult, heavy, and uncomfortable emotions. Let me leave you with this, if you knew that every emotion came through you to facilitate expansion, how would that shift the way you respond to yourself?
At SenterME, we create clear and easily accessible pathways to emotional wellness and stress relief for women professionals through eclectic education and immersive connection. Our platform is scheduled to be released this summer and we couldn't be more excited about this revolutionary approach to women's emotional wellness. Subscribe below to our newsletter to stay updated on upcoming events, the journey to SenterME, and exclusive content!